Assignment 5 Context & Narrative

Link to images

Please note that the link above is a second submission following feedback from Andrew Conroy. The first submission can be seen here.  You will note that some of the things I mention below describe how I felt about the first set of images I submitted.

(These sets of images are password protected.)

I wanted to do something for A5 that continued the story I think I have been trying to tell since starting this course.  The previous assignments ended up being very much about coming to terms with a new paradigm, as well as some introspection; trying to figure out how I tick, why and what led me to this point in my life.  I knew I wanted to turn outwards at this juncture, having done quite a lot of self portraiture. Not only because it felt somewhat narcissistic but also because I felt it was the right time to stop looking inwards quite so much.

One of my ideas was to extend something I was doing already, photographing my local area. Although I did not do this for the course the result is a set of images that I printed and exhibited in a local cafe, and have sold several prints. You can view these here and there is some research here. They are images mostly of walls but not all.

The other thing I was really interested in was prisons.  But I learnt that since I was not in any way established with a body of work behind me, I wouldn't have a cat's chance in hell getting in to any prisons.  I have very recently come across Amy Elkins' work where she got round the problem of not being able to enter a prison by writing to prisoners on death row and working collaboratively with them that way.  The results of several years' work can be seen here.

I am also in retrospect interested in the symbolism of 'prison' walls and what it was about that made me consider this as a possibility.

After chatting with Andrew Conroy and dismissing some ideas, I eventually settled on documenting a family, which is an idea I've had for a while, and since I already sometimes take family portraits it felt like a good focus. However, this didn't seem to lead on neatly from the work I'd done already for TAOP, so in the end I decided to use my own family which felt like a natural and sensible progression.

I chose a regular holiday in Italy at my mother's house.  Apart from the practical reasons I thought that photographing from a place that is very much about my mother would be a useful exercise.

In A4 I looked at object identification from the point of view of a developing infant.  The first object being the mother (actually her breasts and then her).  It takes some time for the infant to recognise the self as a different object to the mother and how this process unfolds informs further object recognition.

So, by looking at my mother's space and at the people in my mother's space I think I was perhaps going back to that place - a place where mother and baby are not quite separate -  in order to try and reframe the process of separation, somehow taking control it it myself.  Marriane Hirsh certainly discusses how photographers use their work to rewrite their internal narratives in Family Frames.

But such work can also be used to explore and discover and I think I have tried to do that here.  I look at these photographs and see a fragile mother who washes and cleans and looks after my children for me.  She is involved in the family and she is sad when we leave, although exhausted as I do so little whilst I am there, leaving all the the 'mothering' to her.

I have made sure all the images are inside the house.  I have deliberately kept inside my mother's house as these images are about me looking and seeing from some part within her.  Is it about trying to identify with her, to try and understand some of our history.  I very consciously chose to do this - keeping inside always and editing to ensure everything was seen from within her thick Italian stone walls, built to withstand earthquakes.

At this point I think about my initial ideas - scenes from my local area which ended up as a series of images that are mostly of walls and one in particular of a window with the word Mum placed across it, and then the other idea - prison.  And it's difficult for me not to make connections and links.  The images I use are inside my mother's house - not outside.   I wonder if I have been exploring my way of seeing, which is somehow 'imprisoned' inside the metaphorical walls built with the history I have with my mother, impacting on my life in a profound way.  Somehow I am trapped inside these 'internal and maternal prison walls' and there is a desire in me to understand, record and explore that, and certainly to break out of that. (Perhaps this contradicts an earlier post about the other work - I don't see why both interpretations aren't valid however.)

Regardless of what I thought the images might be suggestive of, my mother felt that I must hate her when she saw one of the images. There are two in particular at the end which are not flattering photographs and in many ways very unkind.  The photographs I refer to are definitely not vanity shots and I did warn her that she would not like them. I think about how I would feel to have such photographs of me 'out there' and I don't suppose I would very much.  In fact I'd be quite upset.  I have talked about it elsewhere so don't want to go into it too much in this document.

Her reaction was utterly understandable and had made me think about how photographers, especially those exploring difficult human depths and emotions, such as mental illness, age, and frailty, approach sensitive subjects.

I think about my approach and compare it to Jim Mortram's - he gets to know the people in his work and checks in on them continually, finding a way to record their worlds without intruding on them.   They share something of themselves with him.  Many of his images are of people in a vulnerable state.  He works collaboratively.  I, however, took the image of my mother and used it to communicate something about me.  It is not a collaborative exercise for me.

I wanted to use these images but in the end I am not entirely at ease about making my mother feel uncomfortable.  I wondered if I should use the series but cover the ones with her in them with a black mask therefore mimicking the SA newspapers during the state of emergency as mentioned in my post about The Bang Bang Club.  I don't think this would have been the right thing to do though - she is not after all an authoritarian state. It would however have expressed a certain sense of authentic rage, I'm sure.

I also thought about submitting an entirely different edit which was colourful rather than black and white, but suggested a sense of alienation and separateness, which would have been authentic too but abstract.  Since I have already submitted some quite abstract work I think it would serve me better to submit something more tangible.  Although, I must say, the more I look at the two edits, I do prefer this coloured one.  I think it lacks anything of a 'Freudian Family Romance' and is far truer and more reflective of my reality within those walls.

In the end I am going to the use the black and white images, despite my mother's distress, because the narrative is clear, albeit a romanticised one.  However I will submit them privately, using a password. Other students whom I have met are welcome to have the password.  (Following feedback from AC I changed from back and white to colour and have explained why in the feedback post I wrote)

I do feel that by doing so (opting for B&W as I originally did) I am making a compromise which I'm not entirely happy with, I have to say. But I also realise that this is an exercise at the end of course for a university and not my 'big work' if ever such a thing were to materialise.  It has been a stepping stone and I have learnt from it, but I must end this module and make a decision about which one to do next.  So that is how I am going to end it otherwise I could think about what to do forever.  It is quite hard to let go of for some reason.

I have not used any words with the images (following feedback I have now used words although am still not entirely happy with them at all).  I would like them (the images) to speak for themselves.  I have not put them into a book here (although I have prepared one if that is recommended - which it was and so am now supplying that along with the blog for submission).  I think that might detract from the images and make the exercise about something other than the story I hope they tell.

I chose black and white because there is a type of crystalisation in the images, a freezing of time, which feels more frozen without colour.  The colour edit I nearly used seems far more vibrant.  I can almost hear the cicadas and the silent buzzing or humming of the empty spaces as I went about photographing them.  But I don't get that in black and white.  By removing the colour I feel like I have removed the life and left only shadows and impressions.  I know of course this is all in my own perception and interpretation but that is how it felt.  I might actually prefer the colour edit personally, but the one I'm submitting expands on the type of work I'm submitting for assessment.

The blog post about Family Frames is the main supporting material although all the other links and reviews on the A5 entry page have salient points in too.  However, I have linked back to posts on this page which I hope expand on ideas I've introduced in these paragraphs.  I have deliberately tried to keep this entry as clear and clean as possible, speaking with my own voice and using my own words.

Images can be found here and will need a password which will be supplied to Andrew Conroy and the assessors.  I am happy as I say to share this link with the small number of fellow students whom I have met on study visits, privately or at the Thames Valley meet.  Please email me if you are interested.



Demonstration of technical skills
I am more adept in Lightroom than I am with a camera but that is changing the more I work and get to grips with equipment.  I panic less when things don't go right and find ways to fix them or use alternative methods.  I like to experiment with composition and enjoy looking at other photographers to find inventive ways of composing that challenge the run of the mill.  Sometimes I'm successful with this and other times less so.  At this point the willingness to experiment is a good thing I think.

Quality of outcome
I think some of the photographs demonstrate a good degree of lighting, light use, composition, and story telling.  There is a mood in the series that is translated effectively.  I am torn within myself about using other ways of presenting the images and am still thinking about how I might do this more creatively. I know other students put things in films and on YouTube for instance.  It's very effective and I know works well.  But I'm wary of it - content rather than form is more important to me at this stage.  But I also think about how music and filmic editing can manipulate emotion and I think I'd hesitate to go down that route - a possible mawkishness is not what I'm after with these images.  I also think about Brecht and how he wanted his audience to think rather than be overwhelmed with emotion.  I do not know whether or not to present the Blurb book (which I have prepared) for assessment or to simply submit the online images. I need to think about how I present all the sets from TAOP in a cohesive package.

Demonstration of creativity
I feel like the the last series, on the surface at any rate, looks the least 'creative' in comparison to A3 &A4, but only because it is a quieter, less showy set of images.  I do feel my 'voice' has developed and continues to do so.  I look forward to finding more creative and imaginative ways of working, perhaps playing with some of the ideas I've discovered by looking at other photographers over the course.

Context
I am certain my context and reflection is of a high standard and enjoy this part of the course very much.  I look forward to developing these skills as I take on another module and my youngest son starts school, freeing up more time.  I suspect my research needs to develop some sort of academic rigour but that will come the higher up the levels I go.  I could have written about more influences such as Ray's a Laugh for instance but at the time of writing this I have not.  Perhaps by the time I submit for assessment I will have done but I needed to draw a line under this and think about moving on at some point.